Sexual Mindfulness

Mindfulness during sex involves being able to observe and describe what’s happening inside your body and mind without sorting experiences into “bad” and “good” or trying to change your feelings.

The most effective way to have amazing sex may be to simply stay in the moment, concentrating on the sensations you’re experiencing, rather than letting your mind wander while your body goes on autopilot.

Be Present

Many of us, for one reason or another, are holding onto narratives about our bodies and sexuality that prohibit us from experiencing the full realm of sexual pleasure. While it may seem intuitive to use your mind to guide you through sexual struggles, it can actually be counterproductive. Try clearing your mind of thoughts during sexual encounters instead.

This works similar to other mindfulness practices. Start by breathing deeply and letting your current thoughts drift away. Check in with your body, beginning at your toes, and use your senses to observe. When thoughts do pop in—because they will—don’t them linger. Instead, notice them and then let them pass. Focus on remaining present with your partner, thinking only about what is happening in the exact moment. Let your body, not your brain, guide you through the experience.

Switch On All Five Of Your Senses

If you’re new to sexual mindfulness in general, it may feel a bit daunting to try to tune into multiple senses at once. try beginning with whatever sense feels easiest for you to focus on;

Touch is a great place for beginners to start; begin with noticing the feelings of your partner’s hands holding you… their fingers slipping gently down your inner thigh… then when you feel you’ve explored that sense enough, move to another one like their mouth tasting you. This will immediately connect you to the moment and heightens physical pleasure.

Healthy Sexual Response Requires The Integration Of The Brain And Body

Sexual problems can be caused by a huge range of factors. Depression and stress can be triggers, as can the side-effects of antidepressants. Over time, these side-effects can become a psychological factor, as people worry that they are no longer sexually responsive. Mindfulness is one of the tools that can help people focus in a world full of distractions. When we have better sex, we tend to want more of it.

At its most basic, sexual mindfulness is defined as present-moment nonjudgmental awareness. Each of those three components are important for healthy sexual function. Being “present” is critical. Then there is the nonjudgmental part – countless studies have shown that people who have sexual difficulties tend also to have very negative thoughts: ‘If I don’t respond, my partner will not want me,’ or: ‘If I don’t have an adequate level of desire, I’m broken. Mindfulness and paying attention non judgmentally is about evoking compassion for yourself.

Mindful sex does not have to be an intense, time-consuming session. It can be very everyday casual sex; it doesn’t have to be a different type of sex. You might have sex the same way, in the same positions, but you’re in a different head space, so you’re experiencing it differently – focusing your attention and fully experiencing sensations.